De aguamielero

Whenever you're concerned on what you might have said or done during the last party, it's always healthy to remorsefully shake out the guilt and do some preemptive damage control by sharing your recent drinking accomplishments: me puse una de aguamielero ("I got as wasted as an aguamielero.")

Harvesters of the sweet juice from the core of the tequila agave or from the leafs of pulque magueys, are known as aguamieleros. Reportedly, aguamileros have taken wasted-ness by alcohol intoxication to new record heights after the sweet juice they harvest, the aguamiel (which literally means honey water) has fermented a bit inside their stomachs.

In any case, to qualify one's perceived level of pedo (drunkenness) makes way to a host of colorful ways to gauge it.

Me puse un pedo de relojero (wathcmaker): when you end up leaning your forehead against your hand on top of the table as if you were closely inspecting a watch.

...de campeonato: championship level.

...de aquellas: one of those.

...de José José: The acclaimed Prince of Song during the 70's and 80's set the standard in both drinking and singing helplessly tragic ballads of lost love. Drinking away lost love is always a fine excuse to sing.

Huevon vs. Huevudo

If used properly, these two words would make you sound good. On one hand, huevón (weh-VONN), which literally means big-egged, stands for lazy-ass. It is a metaphor to having such heavy testicles that one's activities are slowed down.

On the other hand, huevudo (weh-VOO-though), which also means big-egged, is used in reference to a young male who is old enough to take care of himself. It is an allusion to a young male having adult-size testicles.

Obviously, nothing prevents a person from being both huevón and huevudo.

Beto: Oye, tu hijo el mayor ya está huevudo. ¿Por qué no te ayuda?
Enrique: Es un huevón.

Beto: Hey, your son the oldest is no longer a kid. How come he doesn't give a hand?
Enrique: He's a lazy ass.

A medios chiles

Chile (chili) is at the center of Chilango culture. Medios chiles (meth-yaws-CHEE-less) literally means "halved chilies." When a person is said to do something a medios chiles, it means that such person did not put her heart to it, did not show enthusiasm and did not make her best effort. In other words, the person performed half-ass.

Madre orgullosa: Mijo, estamos tan orgullosos de que hayas terminado la secundaria.
Pepito: Y eso que lo hice a medios chiles. Si me aplico, igual hasta le prepa termino.

Proud mother: My son, we're so proud of your graduating from junior high.
Pepito: And all was done half-ass. If I apply myself, perhaps I graduate from high school.

Brincos dieras

If you use this expression, you'll not only suprise your Chilango friends but also will look as a respectable adoptive child of Mexico City. Brincos dieras is not an offensive expression. Its literal meaning is "you'd jump." It is used to mean "you wish," as in "you wish this were true so much that you are willing to jump if that would make it true." It can also be used in third person, brincos diera.

Example 1:

Thalía: ¿Es cierto que el Memo es tu novio?
Adela: Brincos diera ese zopenco.

Thalia: Is it true that you and Memo are dating?
Adela: Yeah, in his dreams! He's such a good-for-nothing.

Example 2:

Mamá: Como sacaste puros dieces te compré algo.
Pepito: ¿Un Nintendo Wii?
Mamá: Brincos dieras. No, te compre unos Choco Roles. Pero le compartes a tus hermanos.

Mom: Since you got straight A's I got something for you.
Pepito: A Nintendo Wii?
Mom: Yeah, right! No, seriously, I got you some Hostess HoHos. But don't forget to share with your borthers.

Marinela's Choco Roles, the Mexican version of Hostess' HoHos.

Tú di rana

Chilango slang is full of imagery and color. A great example is the expression tú nomás di rana ... (too-noh-MASS thee-RAH-nah), which means "you just say frog ..." To the uneducated listener the expression has to be completed with ... y yo brinco (ee-JAW BREEN-coh), which means "... and I leap" (like a frog).

This expression shows how game a person is for a particular plan. It is used as a most emphatic agreement with that plan.

Gema: Estaría a todo mecate ir este fin a Tepoz. Ya tiene un rato que no vamos.
Yolanda: Pus tú nomás di rana.

Gema: Wouldn't it be nice to go to Tepoztlan this weekend? It's been a long time since we last went.
Yolanda: Just say the word, girl.

Caca grande

In Mexico City's slang, a big wig or big shot is referred to as caca grande, which literally means "big shit." The stereotypical caca grande is despotic and rude to those that are powerless.

When somebody gives him or herself a lot of importance (in other words, want to pass as a caca grande), a Chilango might tell him or her ¡has de cagar muy ancho!, which literally means "you surely defecate thick turds." This is a reference to that person being a caca grande (the connection should be obvious).

Back in the 1970s Los Polivoces (two old school Mexican comedians) created a character that colorfully portrayed a typical caca grande: el Mostachón. He was the CEO of a company and was always ignoring, mistreating and scamming his employees, one of which was his friend el Washanwear.

Below is a poster of a movie that shows el Washanwear (left) and el Mostachón.

Un toque

uhn toeke

A drag, a hit, a shock

Dame un toque carnal: Give me a drag (or a hit) dude. Works the same for cigarettes or joints.

Vamos a darnos unos toques: Let's get stonned. Alternatively, if you're hanging out or chillaxing with your friends in a cantina, it suggests challenging your friends to get electric shocks from an authorized vendor (To get stunned). You can tell authorized providers by their distinct call: tooooquezzz!

Zacate

Tzah kaete

A Loofah (or any organic fiber scratchy scrubber)

The use of zacate is derived phonetically from the word "sacar" (to take out, to withdraw or pull out).

Most common uses include:

Zacatito p'al conejo: Take out the ganja dude.

No seas zacatón: Don't be a woosie

Sin zacate: To link several love acts without pulling out.

Peleas en la Coliseo

For decades, the Coliseo Arena in Mexico City has been the spot to watch wrestling (lucha libre) and box fights (peleas). The expression tener peleas en la coliseo literally means "to have fights in the coliseum." It is a reference to a young individual expected to behave like an adult given his age. Peleas en la coliseo is a disguise for pelos en la cola, meaning "hair in the asshole." In other words, if somebody tiene peleas en la coliseo, it means that such person has grown pubic hair and therefore is (physiologically speaking at least) an adult.

Hijo: Papi, papi, ¿me das para darme una vuelta en el carrusel?
Padre: Tienes 16 años. Ya tienes peleas en la coliseo. Déjate de pendejadas.
Hijo: Si verdad. La cagué.

Son: Daddy, daddy, can I get money for the merry-go-round?
Father: You're 16. You have pubic hair. Cut the non-sense.
Son: True that. My bad.

Cruda

Cruda (CREW-duh, lit. raw) is the Mexican term for hangover. Someone who has a hangover is said to be crudo or cruda. Sometimes Chilangos refer to la cruda as la cruz de su parroquia (the cross of their parish) or just la cruz, in order to be more discrete when pointing it out.

Entrenador: ¡Cómo pudiste fallar ese penalty! ¡Nos quedamos fuera de la Liguilla!
Delantero: No más no me grite profe, que ando bien crudo.

Coach: How the heck did you fail that penalty kick! Now we are out of the playoffs!
Striker: Just don't raise your voice, coach, I have a hangover here.

¡Písale!

Písale (PEE-sah-leh) literally means "step on it." As in English, it is used to make somebody hurry up. For more emphasis, it is usually followed by cabrón. Note: elongating the "o" in cabrón renders an even more desperate tone.

Pancho: ¿Qué? ¿Vamos a echar taco?
Poncho: Pero písale cabrón, que me estoy meando.
Pancho: Pérate. No mames.

Pancho: So, shall grab a bite?
Poncho: Just step on the gas, dude--I'm about to pee.
Pancho: Wait, wait. Don't fuck with me.

Te cayó la voladora

This expression is full of imagery. Te cayó la voladora literally means "the flying one fell upon you." It is a sophisticated version of the more direct expression te cayó la verga, which literally means "the penis fell upon you." Both expressions are used to convey terrible news for the subject upon which the penis is said to fall.

Automovilista: Oficial, la verdad es que no sé qué están haciendo estos dos kilos de marihuana en mi auto.

Oficial: Con todo respeto jefe, ya le cayó la voladora.

Driver: Officer, honestly I have no idea what those two kilos of marijuana are doing in my car.

Officer: With all due repect, sir, your so screwed.